How I Overcame Worker Mentality and Borrowed Beliefs: 6 Simple Steps to Free Yourself from Controlling Environments.

𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚍𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚍𝚘 𝚒𝚝 ~ 𝙴𝚍𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚊 𝙽𝚊𝚣𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚘

I get lots of people ask me what I actually do. It’s pretty simple. I’m following my heart — finally. Sounds cliche, yes, but I am able to grow and learn each day — sometimes even from my cosy bed! My desire is to empower other people to follow their dreams and smash out their goals. I immerse myself in an amazing program and community that has seen me evolve and live life fully. But it wasn’t always like this.

I get to listen to stories of triumph and speak to incredible people each day. I see people’s lives enriched by the personal growth and knowledge content that has allowed me to find my ‘why’. I am able to connect with insanely successful mentors regularly or connect with them through social media.

My self esteem, family relationships, and passion for life have improved exponentially because of one decision. To take a leap of faith in an uncertain world. I choose to be of service, to create a ripple effect of kindness, and celebrate the achievements of others. But it wasn’t always like this.

Too many times I’ve been squashed in the corporate sector for being ‘too nice’ or a ‘people pleaser’… I’m actually not, just ask my partner! Yet I have always fostered the belief that kindness and humility are more important than status; that managers will recognise these qualities and reward employees who really care about clients and peers.

In reality though, 20 years plus working in large organisations saw me witness all manner of aggressive characters gain the prized positions. It wasn’t what you knew but who you knew.

I refused to compromise my integrity. I missed out, alot. I saw people with Mental Health issues iced out and compassion seemed to be a rare commodity. It really feels like we’re still in the dark ages at times as I listen to similar stories.

I remember a turning point in my career that still makes me cringe. I received a written warning from the Vice President, who flew up from Sydney to reprimand me for saying ‘I wish I had kids because then I wouldn’t have to do the proposed shift work’. I had said this to one of my friends (well I thought she was a friend). A flippant comment that I made because she was exempt from shift changes due to having children. No malice was intended, I just didn’t want to work nights and be away from my family, even if they were only fur kids.

She dobbed me in! It caused me immense emotional pain. It felt like betrayal. This particular lady had been spreading rumours about said VP and my female manager at the time; very graphic and vulgar statements about their alleged affair, and here I was in the sin bin with both of them sitting opposite me! Oh the injustice. I still don’t understand it. I apologised, formally in writing — insert eye roll emoji here — I was happy to ‘own it’ if my actions caused distress.

I didn’t say anything to defend myself after that, I never engaged with her again — nor could I respect my superiors for focusing on one mistake, and not the great work I’d achieved or long hours I’d committed to. It was so hard to believe — I was so stunned.

I didn’t feel ‘dobbing her in’ would make me feel any better about the humiliating situation I found myself in. Granted, I should’ve been more careful, but hey, there was no intent to hurt or harm with my comments.

I left that position soon after, nursing a broken ego, landed in another corporate environment, saw the same sh*t going on around me and wondered what the hell I was doing, again! Why was everybody so competitive and how did I step off the moving train?

There are still so many malfunctioning egos out there. What does one do when they have been brought up to respect authority? I was taught working hard would bring its rewards. That being honest and humble is a valued trait. Yep. Sure. It is, but it can also be perceived as weak to those in positions of power who seek ultimate control.

It is easy to be walked over, trampled and left like a dirty mat when others seek only their own justifiction or gratification. We function day to day on beliefs that we accrued throughout childhood. One of my beliefs was to always respect those in authority. That is not a belief I hold anymore. Respect is earned.

There are some fine examples of leadership on LinkedIn and other social media and writing platforms — I get such a kick out of reading and engaging with the stories of true leadership. Sadly, this was not the norm in my experience. There are some amazing workplaces out there; they’re progressive and they have an ‘open door policy’ where everyone is valued. I hope you are part of one. If not, you have a choice. Oh, yes you do!

For me, my greatest lesson was to leave the groupthink zone and venture out on my own. If I wasn’t in a position to leave, I’d bring my zen with me wherever I could, but eventually I couldn’t do it anymore. I became disillusioned. I was not cut out for an ‘everybody for themselves’ world.

I’m forever grateful for those lessons, they highlighted who I do not want to be and personalities I do not want to experience again. I’m excited about future possibilites thanks to these life events which seemed so staggering at the time, but now offer me solace and the knowledge of where to set my sights.

I chose to walk around the hole, instead fall into it for the fifth time. I worked tirelessly through a counselling degree and my personal development content to find who I really was and what I, as an individual, wanted out of my short finite life.

It’s ok to leave a job if you’re not happy, to try a new business, or ditch the degree for a different perspective. You actually have control. If your mother, brother, partner or friends don’t support you, so what? They’re not living in your skin.

You cannot make decisions based on the opinions and flawed premise of others. They have their own agendas. Keeping you in a safe zone is one of them. What could your life look like if you actually made decisions based on your own wants and needs and if you didn’t beat yourself up every time you screwed up?

If this resonates with you in any way; if you’re still reading this; I urge you to do the following as quickly as you can:

• Find your what in life — what is your goal? Your fundamental desire?
• Find your why — what inspires you in life or who? What motivates you to achieve?
• What is the outcome you seek — a new business, a healthier relationship, a fitness goal, a new career?
• Record it, write it down — ideas need to be put on paper or they float around endlessly in an overactive brain, slowly dissipating from other incoming stressors. .
• Listen — quick decisions based on intuition are often a calling from deep within. Don’t sabotage yourself with ready made excuses (more on this in a later article).
• Do it — You will never be ready, your brain will try to keep you stable and safe. Action brings results.

Do you want to be immersed in the worker mentality for the rest of your life borrowing beliefs from previous generations, or do you take a risk and try out a few ventures? You might fail, but you’ll learn. Get up and go again. Repeat as necessary.

Nearly all entrepreneurs have admitted that the road was long to overnight success. You may not want a Corvette, but contentment is a worthy aspiration.

Once you have a solid vision, you just need to break it down into little building blocks. It has never been easier to find the teacher or inspiration you seek. Make google your friend. Read other stories or find a mentor. Be committed to a future self who is not afraid to live and who is able to become a master of their own destiny, without having to answer to others.

Rise up. Get started.